Our Collective Survival Strategy
I have faith that we will get through our Authoritarian Era. I don’t know how long it will take, but I know that I will do everything I can to be in this fight until we win, and that means keeping perspective and taking care of myself.
I recently came across Jon Kabat-Zinn’s definition of overwhelm, which is essentially that the world is unfolding faster than our nervous systems can manage.
That certainly feels true right now, doesn’t it?
Sometimes I feel like my life’s work is to truly understand how to calm my nervous system. It was jacked up for so many years and just when I got good at calming it - bam! - 2025 happens. Time to next level my efforts.
How about you? How is your nervous system these days? Maybe a little amped up? Let’s help calm it down.
Today I’m sharing a few things that I do to stay regulated in this chaotic time. These may not be the same things that work for you, and that’s okay. I’ll also give you a framework for determining what might work for you.
What I’m Doing:
Letting go. This one is REALLY HARD, but I am basically embracing the Serenity Prayer, or the Buddhist principle of non-attachment. Right now, there are a million things happening that we all have absolutely no control over. I can obsess over those things, or I can save my energy for what is within my control and how I personally want to take action to dismantle authoritarianism. If I worry about everything, I will have nothing left to give to the fight.
Sleep. I am certain you already know many of the benefits of sleep; how your body uses sleep to clean things up and repair your brain, muscles and organs (think about how amazing that is!) and why that’s important for our immune systems, controlling inflammation, and processing stress. If you want to learn more, I highly recommend reading, “Why We Sleep”. Personally, I need about 8 hours of sleep every night and I am disciplined about this. It might be my most solid boundary - because I know I will be an absolute mess the next day if I do not sleep. I am a sleep evangelist.
Gratitude. I am so lucky and grateful to have the life that I have. I try every day to write down one thing I’m grateful for that day and to be specific so that it doesn’t become rote or trite.
Meditation. Ten minutes, every day, using the Calm app. When I meditate regularly, it helps me pause before responding and my focus improves.
Exercise. Exercise increases dopamine, which helps me focus and improves my mood - critical to helping my ADHD brain. And, when I am exercising, I really can’t think of anything else, like whatever horrible news happened overnight. So I move my body in some way that increases my heart rate every day. And I lift heavy weights a few times a week because…menopause. I don’t want to fall and break my bones when I’m older. I put in the work now as prevention.
Finding pockets of joy. In his poem, “Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front”, Wendell Berry writes, “Be joyful even though you have considered all the facts.” This feels particularly true right now in this time of very bad facts. Let’s refuse to let this administration steal our joy. Turn your music up loud, have a dance party, laugh at comedians while we still have a First Amendment, read funny books, giggle with friends, watch a rom com. Being joyful is an act of resistance!
Each of these actions helps my nervous system, either by flushing out stress, flooding me with feel good hormones, or helping me pause and see that not everything needs a response. And none take much time (other than sleep).
How to Determine What Works for You:
What helps you to regulate your nervous system? If you’re not sure, consider some of these questions. Write your answers down so that you can come back to your thoughts when you need reminding.
When do I feel most calm?
What activities engross me so much that I forget to check my phone?
I feel most alive when I am ________.
When I am stressed, I most want to _________.
What do you wish you had more time for? Why?
The answers to these questions can help you determine how to unwind your nervous system. For example, if you feel most alive when you’re dancing, sign up for some dance classes or block time in your calendar to go dancing. If you wish you had more time to read, pick a time to read (before bed, on the metro, etc) and commit to reading during that time instead of checking your phone. If swimming makes you feel calm, where and when can you go for a swim? You get the idea.
What Life Looks Like on the Other Side:
It is possible to feel better even during these times. And, honestly, it’s incredibly necessary because we’re being called to think and act in very different ways right now, and that takes energy. The old ways no longer work; we’re playing with a completely different set of rules (or lack of rules?). For me, these practices help me stay centered and clear about the things that I value most and my particular path through this madness. I see this in my clients as well. When they start doing the things they know help them center, they are less blown asunder by everything that swirls around us. Think of your practices as an experiment - you’re trying something out and gathering data. And if it seems impossible, reach out, we’ll work on it together.